Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Adar 5771

I called a girl                        she stood out on the subway
and so I stalled             for her             she joined me at the back of the café
and we watched          the poets sing         their melodies             as I felt our sun go down     yeah our sun went down          there’s no excuse for it to have hurt me like that or for me to then have hurt myself in that way but I’m glad                          I can feel these fresh contortions allowing me to speak my heart my mind can’t sing when the clearing in the wood no longer shakes beneath me                        slipping                         no third girl I didn’t want to be a part of I think I ponder             I slip beneath                        I remember being on my bed in yeshiva longing for the return of language furiously scribbling down the ramblings a lunatic loudmouth poet musician I couldn’t find her there I’m always expecting my mother and I never get her and it hurts it hurts me hurts me hurts                        I want                        my girl to have braved             the murky shores of Barnard to then tussle with me by the crystal streams of Syldavia       where rubies                    suffer             the weight of the trees                    I saw her raven tresses flowing down her thighs and knew I could never approach her from that angle my fifth grade heart pulsing erratically pouring blood into vats opening and closing leading the way into the fog of the middle                                    she asked about my classes I talked I asked about hers she spoke the car door opened she was gone                      
no plans             the future none to speak of

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